When I was younger, probably in the neighborhood of 6-8, I would refer to an outfit that my older sister had as the “tooth residue outfit”. It was a peachy coral color, which happened to be my mom’s favorite, so my sister wore it often, even for her school pictures. It wasn’t an inherently ugly outfit, but I hated it. I think it had something to do with how it looked against her skin tone. She has a very light, almost pink skin tone and I remember how at the time I greatly disliked how it looked on her. In retrospect I realize it was just the color. Although I have no doubt that my sister has exceptional dental hygiene, it was before the days of teeth whitening, and since most people over the age of about five don’t have perfectly white teeth, the combination of not perfectly white teeth, coral outfit, and pinky skin tone just didn’t work for her. I’m sure if the outfit had been blue it would have been perfect. Unfortunately, as a six year old, I didn’t quite understand that. The best I could come up with was that the outfit made me think of her “tooth residue”. I’m not sure how I arrived at that conclusion but when the outfit was passed down to me I refused to wear it upon the principal that it had her “tooth residue” on it. She would then remind me that it had my cousin’s tooth residue on it as well, since she had worn it last, before it got back to me. We would go back and forth but the end result was that I didn’t wear it because I didn’t want to get anybody’s “tooth residue”. Yeah, weird, I know.
At this point you’re probably wondering what tooth residue has to do with anything. First of all, it’s just a funny story so I felt compelled to share. In addition to that, to me residue is just a gross word. My cousin hates the word moist. She hates the way it sounds and all that it stands for. I guess you could say that residue is the new moist, IMO. Just saying the word makes me want to brush my teeth. And it makes me wonder, is there such a thing as a good residue? I am a germaphobe by nature, especially when it comes to anything I may be eating off of in the future. Any dish that I find with so much as a speck, film, or UYO (unidentified yucky object) is getting its brains scrubbed out and a one way ticket to the dishwasher!! But it’s not just dishes that residue can ruin. Would you like some residue in your bathtub? Or in your sink? On your floor? ICK! I think not! Residue is just gross all over.
So here is the part where it is all supposed to make sense, theoretically and politically. Our nation is COVERED in residue. If you haven’t noticed it, then take a closer look. Perhaps it is just so thick that it looked normal to you. Put on the white glove and see if you can write your name in the scum on the glass! I’m sure that you will find that I am correct.
We are covered in the scum of selfishness, and it disgusts me every time I think about it. There are so many people who want a hand out, and few who are offering a “leg-up”. And I am not just referring to poor people who maybe be gaming the system and abusing welfare and disability benefits. There are plenty of fat cats within the government doing the same. That disgusts me more than anything. I don’t mind needy people being taken care of, and hard working people being compensated for their time and service. I do, however have a problem with people getting paid well, no matter what kind of job they do, and using legislation and earmarks to fill their pockets and those of their friends. What happened to an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay?
The longer we let it go on, the more residue will build up. I suppose not cleaning up our government for years and years could be equated to one not brushing their teeth for days… months… years. Disgusting, unhealthy, and STUPID!
Lets get rid of the pork, the corruption, and of course, the residue before it is irreparably rotten. A lot of people think that the people can’t make a difference. As long as they believe that, it will be true. However, if we could all manage to muster up more than just some apathy and refuse to accept the status quo we could fill the cavities and give our government a good bleaching.
On another note, here is a picture of me and my older sister as a child, to protect her reputation as a regular teeth brusher. Note: There is NO tooth residue. =P
